Khor Tee! (Give Me a Break!)

Chapter 1

If you asked me how my life was going right now, I’d have to say it was great. So great, in fact, that I couldn’t imagine how it could possibly get any better.

I had a job, money to spend, a place to live, and a family who loved me. On top of all that, I was handsome.

You don’t have to compliment me on that last part. I already know.

My name is Klao. I’m twenty-six years old, and I work as a freelance graphic designer. I’m good-looking, polite, adorable, and I never pick fights with anyone first.

...

Okay, I lied.

The good-looking part is true. As for everything else, it depends on whom you ask.

But even though I have a sharp tongue, love arguing, and sometimes stick my nose into other people’s business a little too much, I’m not a bad person. I just have this annoying habit of speaking up whenever I see something wrong. I want to comment, warn people, or step in to help, sometimes forgetting that other people might not actually want my help.

Oh! There’s one more thing I haven’t told you.

I’m a trans man.

Simply put, I’m a transgender man. But if you’re wondering whether being a trans man makes my life complicated, the answer is no.

The person who makes my life complicated is my mother!

“Klao! How many times have I told you not to come home so late?”

My mother’s voice blared through the phone pressed against my ear. I was standing outside a convenience store near my apartment, holding a bag of snacks in one hand and my phone in the other, while her daily lecture played on and on.

I glanced at my watch.

Nine-thirty p.m.

Nine-thirty!

“Mom, I’m an adult. I’m not three years old. You don’t have to stand guard outside the bathroom anymore.”

“Actually, I still could, you know.”

“Mom!”

“Ton Klao!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

I instinctively straightened up, even though she couldn’t see me.

That’s what happens when you grow up with a mother who acts like a teenager. She understands me completely, but whenever she calls me by my full name, I still jump every single time.

“Listen to me. Lock your door when you get back. Don’t open it for strangers. And what are you going to do if you run into a burglar?”

“Call the police, Mom. What else? Invite them over for dinner?”

“Ton Klao!”

“Okay, okay! I’ll be very careful, beautiful Mother.”

I slipped in a compliment because I knew she couldn’t resist one.

“Don’t try to sweet-talk me. I know all your tricks.”

“Oh, come on, Mom. Is it wrong for your son to tell you that you’re beautiful?”

“If it’s true, I’ll accept the compliment. But if you’re about to ask me for money, forget it!”

My smile disappeared instantly.

Wow. Is she my mother or a loan shark?

“Who said anything about asking you for money? I have a job!”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that. What about that new job in Bangkok? Have they given you an answer yet?”

The moment she mentioned it, my smile returned.

“I got it! They accepted me. I start next month!”

“Really?”

“Of course! The salary’s better, too, and I’ll be working for a big company. Once I start, I’ll stay in Bangkok during the weekdays and come home to visit you and Dad every Saturday and Sunday.”

“Good! Then Mommam will have someone to eat with.”

I frowned.

“Mom, you’re comparing your son to a dog!”

“Well, yes. I’m thinking of leaving my inheritance to him.”

“Come on, Mom! At least leave me a baht or two!”

“Sure. The left baht or the right baht?”

“Fine! Leave everything to Mommam, then. You’re so mean!”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my mother.

A woman in her fifties who loves following the latest fashion trends, sends heart stickers in her messages, and still thinks she’s twenty-five.

But as much as she likes acting like one of my friends, whenever it’s time to be a mother, she has never once let me down.

From the day I told her that I was a man, not the daughter she had once thought she had, she never criticized me.

She only asked one question.

“Are you happy now?”

I still remember that question to this day.

Back then, I told her I was happy, but I was scared, too. Scared that she would be disappointed. Scared that Dad would be upset. Scared that my family would never look at me the same way again.

Instead, Mom pulled me into a hug and said, “If you’re happy, then I’m happy, too. What other people think is their business. We have our own lives. We weren’t born to please everyone.”

She paused, then continued with a serious expression.

“But if anyone ever hurts you, tell me. I’ll go give them a piece of my mind.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my mother.

A woman in her fifties who dresses like a university student.

Sometimes, I honestly wonder which one of us is the mother and which one is the child.

“Klao, are you listening to me?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“I said don’t trust strangers, don’t come home late, and watch out for burglars.”

“Yes, ma’am! Message received!”

“Good. My son has to be strong and able to take care of himself. Whatever the outside world throws at you, don’t be afraid. But don’t be careless, either. Understand?”

I smiled at my phone.

“I understand. Love you, Mom.”

“Love you, too. See you on Saturday.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

I ended the call and slipped my phone into my pocket.

Sigh...

My life really was great.

I had a mother who loved me, a new job waiting for me, and a home-cooked meal to look forward to every Saturday.

What could possibly go wrong?

If I’d known that the answer would arrive in less than ten minutes, I would have hurried back to my room.

Because the moment I turned into my apartment corridor, I spotted a man standing in front of the door next to mine, bending down and straightening up suspiciously.

He wore a black shirt and dark trousers. He was tall and handsome, but there was something seriously suspicious about him.

He glanced left and right before bending down to inspect the doorknob.

I narrowed my eyes.

Hmm...

Could he be a burglar?

I leaned out for another look.

No doubt about it!

This was textbook criminal behavior!

My mother’s warning immediately echoed in my head.

Watch out for burglars, sweetheart!

I tightened my grip on the bag of snacks and quietly crept toward the man from behind.

As a good citizen, how could I possibly let a criminal break into someone else’s room right in front of me?

Absolutely not!

I had to do something!

Then I spotted a large umbrella leaning beside the communal storage cabinet.

It was like heaven had sent it down just for me.

I grabbed the umbrella, took a deep breath, and shouted at the top of my lungs.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

The man startled and immediately turned around.

“What the—”

I didn’t wait for him to finish.

WHACK!

The sound of the umbrella striking his head echoed through the corridor.

The man clutched his head and stumbled backward into the wall.

“Ow! What the hell is wrong with you?”

I stood there holding the umbrella, still poised to strike a second time.

“Take that! Trying to break into someone’s room, are you?”

“I’m not breaking in!”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I’m trying to—Ow! My head!”

He looked at his hand, which had a little blood on it, before raising his eyes to glare at me as if he were ready to murder someone.

Good grief...

There was blood!

I swallowed hard.

Oh, crap, Klao.

Did you really just crack someone’s head open?

But wait a minute...

He was the one acting suspiciously in front of someone else’s door!

How was this my fault?

“Don’t look at me like that! I’m a good citizen!”

“A good citizen? What kind of good citizen goes around hitting people on the head?”

“You were acting suspicious!”

“I was checking the door!”

“Exactly! Suspicious!”

The man opened his mouth as though he wanted to curse me out in at least ten different ways, but in the end, he simply clutched his head again.

“Damn it... I’m going insane.”

I started to feel a little guilty.

Just a little.

“Uh... are you okay?”

He slowly turned to look at me.

“Do you think I look okay?”

“Well, you’re still standing there yelling at me.”

“You!”

I jumped so hard that I nearly dropped the umbrella.

Okay. This guy wasn’t an ordinary burglar.

He was probably a very bad-tempered one, too!

“Fine, I’m sorry. But you have to admit that you really did look suspicious.”

“I don’t have to admit anything!”

“Then I’ll call the police!”

“I’m the one who’s going to call the police!”

I froze.

Oh...

Right.

He could call the police, too.

I quickly lowered the umbrella and pulled out my phone, pretending I was about to call someone, while my mind raced ahead to the next lecture my mother would give me.

If she found out I’d cracked someone’s head open, she’d probably scold me for the next three lifetimes.

But before I could even dial a number, the door beside us opened.

Auntie Chan, the landlady, stepped out carrying a bag of rubbish.

“Oh! Mr. Thee, you’re here! I was just about to call you.”

I whipped my head toward her.

Then I turned back to the man in front of me.

Mr. Thee?

“You know him, Auntie?”

Auntie Chan raised an eyebrow, then looked at the man clutching his head and at me standing there with an umbrella.

“Why, Mr. Thee is the new owner of the apartment building! He’s here to inspect the rooms and the door systems today. Didn’t I tell you someone was coming to look at the building?”

The whole world went silent.

I blinked once.

Twice.

Three times.

The new owner?

This man?

I slowly lowered the umbrella until it was almost touching the floor.

All I could hear was my mother’s voice echoing clearly in my head.

Watch out for burglars, sweetheart!

Mom...

I was careful.

But you never told me I had to watch out for the landlord!

“You...” I swallowed. “You’re the owner of the apartment building?”

He stared at me before answering in a voice as cold as ice.

“Yes.”

“Oh...”

I nodded repeatedly.

“Then let me introduce myself properly. My name is Klao. I’m a tenant on the third floor. I love peace and quiet, I never get into trouble with anyone, and most importantly, I have never hit anyone first.”

Thee looked at the umbrella in my hand.

Then he shifted his gaze back to my face.

“And what was that just now?”

I gave him an awkward smile.

“A social accident.”

“A social accident?”

“Yes... It’s a new term I just came up with.”

Auntie Chan covered her mouth, trying so hard not to laugh that her shoulders shook.

Meanwhile, the new owner of my apartment building stood perfectly still. A little blood was trickling from his head, but the look in his eyes was more terrifying than any ghost I’d ever seen in a horror movie.

“What’s your name again?”

“Klao.”

“Your full name.”

I was beginning to dislike the sound of his voice.

“Ton Klao.”

He nodded slightly before speaking slowly and clearly.

“Very well, Mr. Ton Klao. We have something to discuss tomorrow morning.”

Oh, shit!

I was in trouble already, and it was only the first day!

And the worst part was...

I had absolutely no idea how much it would cost to compensate the new owner for his injured head.

I’d better hurry back to my room and figure out how to save myself.

I could always go home to see Mom on Saturday.

But if the new owner kicked me out before Saturday arrived, my life would become a whole lot more entertaining!